Right that’s it, now it’s Snail War. They may be soft, stripey and kinda cute sometimes but no-one dines for free at Chez MTP. The six cabbage plants I put in have been mercilessly munched into oblivion by slimey invertibrates. Something has to be done. They have to die, that much is clear, but by which weapon? Should I go for the Rocket Launcher (slug pellets), the Uzi (midnight salt raids), the Grenade (beer traps loaded with John Smiths) or the Shotgun (a line of broken shells).
Pellets, I decided, were not in line with my organic leanings, while the thought of midnight salt raids made me want to vomit (I still don’t like killing things). In the end I decided it had to be a two-pronged attack of beer plus a barrier of broken shells. It seems to be working on first inspection. Anyone got any other ideas on how I can win the Snail War?